Do men actually have that kind of control on us? Even while we keep going about our lives.. multitasking our multiple roles...they can actually make us long for them....subtly...surprisingly... stupidly.....They come to us only when they feel like.. and when they need us ........and they can actually shut out and close if they dont need us for a while... having their own lives...engrossed in their own stuff......going into their own caves ( thats the justification I got from a male friend).....its not just with me..I've seen it with almost all the women that I know..but these men might not even realise how much it affects us ....at times it almost borders on selfishness and being insensitive... and if you ask for anything.. or express your feelings.. its like we have expectations... we are unreasonable.....we are illogical.. we are never happy & satisfied....we always want more....
But how long do you keep reaching out?... how long will you keep trying to give it a shot? .. how long will you keep putting up with things? will they ever know that we are not expecting anything as they assume? and we are surely not being unreasonable in comparing? will they know only after they loose us? or will they ever loose us... ? or are we going to be sticking around..... u know .... like always being there for them? :)
...the time when I float between what I am ... & what I want to be... at times, these silences... are like a bridge...connecting my two worlds.. at times...they become my refuge... when I dont want to be present anywhere...
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8 comments:
Its a complete package. You either take it or leave it. :-)
this i do know.. men and women do speak 2 different languages. Our Discussion = their fight. Our conversation = their "expectations". and so on..
Will they lose us? I dont know. Till Death do us apart phrase does not leave too many losing options out, does it. For them to lose us, we will have to want to lose them too. Sad!
Hey Anonymous... thanks for that complete package bit...I guess thats how it becomes easy for u guys to segregate ur emotions...
and my dear HDWK.....u got that bang on target.. the equations r so damn right :)
As for the part of them loosing us or v loosing them.. I guess it basically ends up where v loose ourselves....
Instead of losing them or them losing us....isnt there a middle way where we could learn to have more to our life than just them?
You know have our own circle of friends, commitments, pastimes?
things that give us a chance to go into our own 'caves'. I think men like that lil chase and once they know we are hooked and there to stay, they tend to shift focus...it wouldnt hurt to remind subtly from time to time that there is more to us than just them.
Hi Pinku... Aboslutely agree...I guess it can only work that way...the moment we can alienate ourselves without any dependancies - be it for our happiness or love or fun or emotional support or peace of mind....I guess we can find ourselves right back... yeah may be we should have our own "CAVES" :)
Hi Friend
I really don't think there is any upper hand; at least psychologically.
We all belong to the same planet. We just need to be a little more flexible and placid, I believe.
May be when you get time you may like to read :
http://aforgottenpage.blogspot.com/2008/09/romeo-must-not-die.html
Cheers
Manish
Hi Manish.. it was never about upper hand.. it was only about level of intensity in the way we feel, way we express, way we expect, way we communicate... sometimes that exact equations either drift apart or wither away.. but obviously it does connect back at times.. but the interim period can only lead to dejections, rejections & frustrations..
I understand your point..I accept it also...
See no two people (say two sisters; two brothers, a brother and sister, a husband and a wife) can have the same level of intensity at all the time...it's the way life is, as I see.
I therefore talk about adjustments and flexibility..
and yes we need to have faith inside at least in ourselves..to overcome dejections and frustations..
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