Someone out there !!!

This is some thing which was written quite a while ago...The friend who made me write this is quite far away now.... but when she called me recently and mentioned about this poem which summarised her pain and said that it always brought back memories... I don't know why... .. just felt like reposting this one again...

Someone out there !!!

She tried to push him into her past
But everything about him haunts her still
She wished to God that she would forget him
But now she realized, she never will

Her heart seems to have frozen in time
Cobwebs of memories she still does keep
Drying tears do escape at times
Into her dreams, he always creeps

Ripples have become massive waves
And thundering skies all but clear
As she tries to hold that untouched love
Yearnings come, but he is nowhere

This pain appears to live inside her
Even while she tries to stop this nightmare
She wonders, if he still thinks of her
For her, did he ever really care?

He lives in her every tear that falls
Triggers her every poem & prose
She was always like an open book
Probably he chose to shut her close!

Unsent Mails...!!!

Now......., how many of us have such unsent mails stored away??...safely tucked in some folder or the other... either long forgotten or with memories that haunt us all the time...... and how many of us wonder and think about with regret... "I should have sent it at that time".....:-) Sigh...!!!

I wonder why do we even write them.. ? be it official mails, personal mails, private mails, long pending mails, formality sake mails...we write them with utmost care... moving things here and there and making changes.... thanks to Microsoft , spell checks, Thesaurus and copy,paste commands... that we actually need not worry about the numerous crumpled sheets that used to get thrown into the dust bins in the ancient times...

We write them with anxiety, worry, anger, frustrations, hatred, hope, happiness, longing to get things sorted and all other mixed feelings at times... but then when it comes to hitting the send button..... our fingers seem to freeze..or the moment just passes by....:-(

When all we want is to express what we feel, why do we even hesitate and think so much about other person's reaction?

How stupid, right?...!!!

Who knows???

He even refused to take my telephone calls...May be I reminded him of the life that he wanted to forget...I'll tell you one thing though...It hurt...

( A line from the book "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari")

What can I say???

It did !!!

Miracles do happen !!! :-) ( refer to the post below)

Btw.. heard this song in the morning today... its in Kannada..from the movie " Mungaru Male" ( the only kannada movie that I ever dared to see.... but I just loved it )

Ivanu geliyanalla... gelathi naanu modhale alla.... ( still trying to figure out what it actually means)

Let me know if you got it right....

2008...!!!

I kept wondering about what I should start the year with? what should I write first on this blog to start 2008... but somehow, the beginning was behind me even before I could pull myself out of all the action that was happening around...now I guess I want to leave them behind... all the events that took my life, breathe and sleep away for a while...So...there you go... Year End work, Audits, Appraisals, Half Yearly Exams, Unanswered Questions, Endless Emotions...request all of you to rest in peace ( for a while) :-)

I want to close this with just one sentence...

Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday....

( U can say I am still waiting ...)

Painless World !!!

How strange... !!! Isn't it even tough to imagine a painless world..... but where does all this come from... ? There are so many questions.... and answers I seek.....
Am not sure what triggered this thought process.... am not sure what made it more diversified .... am not even sure if it was ignited when I was lost asleep or when I was wide awake... ..but as I looked at the various aspects of pains in life..... I couldn't help but put it in words... probably its a just a process to have more clarity of thought... or may be its also a way of just wishfull thinking...
Couple of weeks ago.. as I sat in a hospital, nursing an injury, going through meaning less tests...I happened to get a chance to have a close look at various scenarios... and few other things kept bugging my thoughts...?where does all this pain lead us to..?
How do we classify whats causing more pain... whats more painful???
A daughter crying for a father who died?... or is it the father who went thru the pain in the process of dying...?
Does it hurt more to get torn apart in an accident? or does the guilt hurt you more when you caused that accident?
Does the starving of a poverty striken child pain more? or does it pain more to attach machines to our bodies to suck out the excess fat?
Does it hurt more when a woman waits alone for her cheating husband? or does it hurt when she waits desperately for a lover that she never had...?
Does it pain more to struggle through long working hours? or does it pain more to see someone else walk away with the credits?
Does it hurt more to live a lonely life? or does it hurt when you are suffocated by lot of people in a golden cage?
Does it hurt more to hold back your tears? or does it hurt more to hide your happiness?
Does it pain to have a broken bone? or does a Broken heart pain more?
How easy and nice it would be to have a painless world.... how nice it would be if we can erase all the wounds and hurts and pain and move on with our life? how nice it would be if painfull memories don't haunt us through middle of the nights? how nice it would be if we can silently slip in to our deaths while sleeping...? how nice it would be if miracles can happen all the time......

Miracle !!! ... there you go.. its such a nice word :-)... so long.. till I come back with a new imagination...

Confused People; Complex Feelings

Empty spaces; Emotional bonds
Longing hours; Lonely nights
Gone away moments, Glaring vacuum
Secret wishes; Sacred thoughts
Stupid feelings; Silly fears
Deepening hurt; Drying tears
Sensitive insights; Silent prayers
Caring gestures, Casual reminders
Insane dreams, Imaginary images
Meaningful madness, Maddening silences
Painful lives, Plastic smiles
Dreadful concerns; Developing doubts
Deepest wounds; Deceitful expressions
Disappearing faces; Dissolving souls
Unkempt promises; Unspoken words
Muted calls; Misplaced trusts
Wounded egos; Wandering emotions
Illogical minds; Irrational thoughts
Lasting memories; Lost ties
Bruised feelings; Broken hearts...!

Have I ever told you???

Have I ever told you
that when I sit really still and silent,
sometimes... I like to think that
I can hear your heart
beating in time with mine?

Have I ever told you
that when ever you got in touch with me
through words and sounds….,
through lines and cords and bytes and ram,
I imagine your voice, whispering into my ear?

Have I ever told you
that I wait out each day in anticipation,
wanting only an hour or two,
or just a second in space and time…..
to feel your presence in my life?

Have I ever told you
that there has been times,
when I ached for you, ached for you so badly,
that the emotions overwhelmed me…
and so I sat alone and thought?

Have I ever told you
that sometimes, I reach out to touch your name
in my telephone list or on this cold screen before me,
wishing I could reach in
where ever you are and pull you to me?

Have I ever told you
that every time I heard the sound of your voice,
thousands of miles away,
I sat up all night,
turning the conversation over and over in my mind?

Have I ever told you
that I dream of you often,
I dream of you reaching out and touching my hand,
simply to let me know
that you are there,and everything is okay?

Have I ever told you,
or have I still yet to tell you ….???