Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Ladies ...Celebrate Yourselves !

They learnt to walk alone 
When paths split and people moved on
They learnt to lift themselves 
When everything around pushed them down 
They learnt to push themselves harder
Every time someone made fun of them
They learnt to scale the heights
When they realised they had it in them
They learnt to drive & fly
So that they can explore their world
They learnt to sing and succeed 
And without care danced in the rain
They learnt to hide their scars
When they saw how beautiful they are

They learnt to let go and leave
When they felt people were differently wired
They learnt to detach their emotions 
As they gradually steeled their hearts
They learnt to stop the tears
The day they realised it wasn't worth it
They learnt to love themselves
Only when their hearts were broken!

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

A Women's Note!

Let me start 2017 on a Women's note:

We think a lot... and we think differently, because we are completely wired...

We connect with people at a completely different level....it may be intellectual, physical or emotional and we hold on to those bonds forever in our hearts. Any relationship for us comes with a commitment clause, whether it is being a daughter, sister, wife, daughter-in-law, mother, friend, employee, peer, boss or subordinate. We value each responsibility so much that we pour ourselves into each of these molds to breath and live the role.

We stretch, we grab, we deliver, we hold on and we take pride in what we do. We usually wait for long, sometimes too long, before our body tells us to take it slow. We push ourselves even when we realize that gradually we are becoming weaker - physically, mentally, emotionally. Most often we can't say No. When it starts bothering us , we slowly open the door that leads to frustrations. No, it's not due to any expectation, but it is purely based on our own emotional needs. 

We wait for a word of understanding and support from the spouse, even when we pretend to have 10 hands to do multi-tasking of managing home, maids, driving, bills, banks, home loans, hospitals, PTMs, sports meets, deadlines at office, presentations to be completed, insecurities at work, office politics, expectations from everyone around etc etc...

We do die a hundred deaths when we have to let go of our children, or we hurt them, especially when we have to balance work and home and all the thousand other things in between.

We long to have girlfriends who understand exactly what our  hormones are doing to us so that we can share and cry on their shoulders.

We hope to have meaningful conversations with people who can relate to us or rather, whom we can relate to,  yet, we cringe when all we get in return is silence. At least some of us are really very old fashioned that we cannot understand that people have their list of priorities and we may not be on that, unless it is an emergency.

Unless someone reaches out and knocks off the mask, we don't like to show our vulnerabilities, but then very few people do get us that way. And when they do get us, we hold on to them for life. For us, usually there is no disconnection and even when we are deeply hurt, we do not talk about relationships in the past tense. Yet, we are strong, because we use nights to heal and tears to energize. We usually hug ourselves and try to move on with a smile even when things continue to hurt our soul deep inside......

Can we help it? No... guess we are made that way...

Saturday, November 19, 2016

For long...

For long, she wasn't sure
As her tears clouded her thoughts
While her heart ached for him
She felt she was the one at fault

For long, she waited for him
To remove the mask and reveal himself
But he was playing a game to win
With tricks to disappear, up his sleeve

For long, she buried her myriad emotions
Yet vulnerabilities made her weak
But how would he even know
As he was detached and never in love

For long, she wanted him back
To take her hand and make her believe
Yet, he was happy in his own world
Failing to realize that he played with someone's heart

For long, she hoped he was real
Not just a fantasy or a midnight dream
Longing for him to take a step forward
But now she knows he just didn't care




The incomplete one!

I sit here in silence and think...
What all did you take when you left?
'Cause everything's changed in a blink...
And nothing is where I kept...

My palm still feels very numb...
Maybe it's still looking for your hand...
Oh! Where did I spill all the feelings dumb?
Without them it's all very empty in my mind

I had buried my tears deep inside...
You seem to have dug up the well...
I had hid my heart and parked it aside...
Now that place is empty as well...

After thought: this one is incomplete and it's been stuck like that for a while.. so going ahead and posting it with a hope to revise it sometime soon



Saturday, November 5, 2016

I Live

When your eyes find me, I burn
When your silence reaches me, I breathe
When you hold my hand, I survive
When you think about me, I dream
When you talk to me, I smile
When you smile at me, I glow
When you come back to me, I love
When you touch my heart, I live

 

When the love was gone!

Hold my hand lady.. because you are lost
This is not the path you should be treading
And its gone all dark and eerie
Let me help you go back in time

The arms that held you are long gone
As they had to keep the warmth elsewhere
Oh! do not stand there and shiver in the cold
Your heart once frozen, will die a silent death

I can see the darkness in your eyes
Must be the despair of looking for someone
Bring back the sparkle to light our trail
As we have to go back a long way

Let go of your silence and screech a bit
At least it would scare away the demons
The beasts are following us close behind
They wait to gobble you the moment you fall

Do not wait for someone who left you
They have moved on and gone much ahead
beyond the time and space where your words can reach
Let's dig a quick hole to bury your burden of love

Once you are safe, let's send a prayer up
Its not for us to judge if the journey was worth it
But remember that you had the strength to walk back again
When the love was gone and you stood there alone

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Where do I find you in my life???

Where do I find you in my life?


Should I search for you in my dreams...
Or in all the words that got spoken...
Or in all the tears that got shed...
Or will you be in the silence of my heart...
Or in my eyes that turn red all the time...

Should I look for you in my empty mind...
Or in every breathe I take that calls your name...
Or in the lines of my palm which are wired...
Or will you be hidden in my soul deep inside...
Or in my senses that feel your presence everywhere...

Should I trace you to the corners of your world....
Or in my bits and pieces of memories that are left...
Or in all the silent prayers that I send up...
Or will you be behind the closed doors of my destiny...
Or in my love that is hurting me from within...

Where do I find you? Or will I ever find you ???

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

All over again!

She doesn't want to look at him...
He appears even when she closes her eyes...
She doesn't want to hear anything about him...
He drives her crazy every time she hears his voice...
She doesn't want to walk with him...
He comes to her whenever he feels lost...
She doesn't want to talk to him...
He whispers to her in all her dreams...
She doesn't want to cry for him...
He makes her laugh that leaves her in tears...
She doesn't want to remember him... 
He passes by and memories hold her back...
She doesn't want to care for him...
He reaches out and she stands with him...
She doesn't want to be anywhere near him...
He smiles and sends across hugs in the air...
She doesn't want to love him anymore...
He looks at her and she falls all over again...