Friday, July 13, 2018

Sun Shine!

Sheets of rain...
blinding and deafening...
Sometimes your memories hit me that way...
pouring out and silencing...

But then...Sun does come out eventually...


Friday, October 27, 2017

There are millions of things she wants to share with you
but words fail her at times
She wants to tell you everything in her life
but she holds herself back every time
 

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Backspace!

Loving him was probably the easier part...
She has no answers or reasons for why...
She never thought it would be tough to move on...
How much ever she cries or tries...

It still burns her soul deep inside...
Even after they let go and walked away...
For what she once felt and cherished...
Her heart is still being made to pay...

She constantly stops herself from reaching out to him...
Yet, it kills her to end it without a care...
The phases when he disappears from her life....
Feels as if a slice of her is lost somewhere...

He flows from her thoughts to the dreams...
When she closes her eyes for the night...
Like someone holding on to their last breath to live...
She seems to hold on to his memories tight...

The overwhelming emotions that tug at her heart...
The tears that flow down from her eyes...
The quite hope that still lives in the corners of her life...
The Backspace should have ended this story, if those were lies...
What can we hear from a heart that's gone silent?
 

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Ladies ...Celebrate Yourselves !

They learnt to walk alone 
When paths split and people moved on
They learnt to lift themselves 
When everything around pushed them down 
They learnt to push themselves harder
Every time someone made fun of them
They learnt to scale the heights
When they realised they had it in them
They learnt to drive & fly
So that they can explore their world
They learnt to sing and succeed 
And without care danced in the rain
They learnt to hide their scars
When they saw how beautiful they are

They learnt to let go and leave
When they felt people were differently wired
They learnt to detach their emotions 
As they gradually steeled their hearts
They learnt to stop the tears
The day they realised it wasn't worth it
They learnt to love themselves
Only when their hearts were broken!

Sunday, February 19, 2017

It was easy to fall in love with you...
I have no answers or reasons for why...
Never thought it would be tough to come out...
How much ever I try and cry...

It still burns my soul deep inside...
Even when you let go and walk away...
The love I feel for you hits me like waves...
It neither tires nor stops nor sways...

The highs and lows of your love..
just flows through my tears...
May be I don't worry about the world...
But for losing you, I pray and hide my fears..

When I am alone or when I am with others...
Your thoughts cruise through my veins...
I don't know why I take your name...
Every time I feel some high or if I am in ruins...

I constantly stop myself from reaching out to you...
Yet, it kills me to end it without care...
When you disappear from my life....
It feels as if a slice of me is left somewhere...

I see you in my dreams...
When I force my eyes to close at night...
Like someone holding their last breadth to live...
I seem to hold on to your memories tight...

If I should not long for you in my life...
If the love I feel for you is wrong...
If my need for you is not right...
Wish the Backspace ended our story before long...




 

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

A Women's Note!

Let me start 2017 on a Women's note:

We think a lot... and we think differently, because we are completely wired...

We connect with people at a completely different level....it may be intellectual, physical or emotional and we hold on to those bonds forever in our hearts. Any relationship for us comes with a commitment clause, whether it is being a daughter, sister, wife, daughter-in-law, mother, friend, employee, peer, boss or subordinate. We value each responsibility so much that we pour ourselves into each of these molds to breath and live the role.

We stretch, we grab, we deliver, we hold on and we take pride in what we do. We usually wait for long, sometimes too long, before our body tells us to take it slow. We push ourselves even when we realize that gradually we are becoming weaker - physically, mentally, emotionally. Most often we can't say No. When it starts bothering us , we slowly open the door that leads to frustrations. No, it's not due to any expectation, but it is purely based on our own emotional needs. 

We wait for a word of understanding and support from the spouse, even when we pretend to have 10 hands to do multi-tasking of managing home, maids, driving, bills, banks, home loans, hospitals, PTMs, sports meets, deadlines at office, presentations to be completed, insecurities at work, office politics, expectations from everyone around etc etc...

We do die a hundred deaths when we have to let go of our children, or we hurt them, especially when we have to balance work and home and all the thousand other things in between.

We long to have girlfriends who understand exactly what our  hormones are doing to us so that we can share and cry on their shoulders.

We hope to have meaningful conversations with people who can relate to us or rather, whom we can relate to,  yet, we cringe when all we get in return is silence. At least some of us are really very old fashioned that we cannot understand that people have their list of priorities and we may not be on that, unless it is an emergency.

Unless someone reaches out and knocks off the mask, we don't like to show our vulnerabilities, but then very few people do get us that way. And when they do get us, we hold on to them for life. For us, usually there is no disconnection and even when we are deeply hurt, we do not talk about relationships in the past tense. Yet, we are strong, because we use nights to heal and tears to energize. We usually hug ourselves and try to move on with a smile even when things continue to hurt our soul deep inside......

Can we help it? No... guess we are made that way...

Saturday, November 19, 2016

For long...

For long, she wasn't sure
As her tears clouded her thoughts
While her heart ached for him
She felt she was the one at fault

For long, she waited for him
To remove the mask and reveal himself
But he was playing a game to win
With tricks to disappear, up his sleeve

For long, she buried her myriad emotions
Yet vulnerabilities made her weak
But how would he even know
As he was detached and never in love

For long, she wanted him back
To take her hand and make her believe
Yet, he was happy in his own world
Failing to realize that he played with someone's heart

For long, she hoped he was real
Not just a fantasy or a midnight dream
Longing for him to take a step forward
But now she knows he just didn't care