CWG !

It was a great show at CWG... Thankfully at least for the 11 days of the games, everyone put aside the falling bridges, flooding rivers, unhygienic accommodation standards, corrupt officials and not meeting deadlines, as thankfully even the rain Gods seem to have become silent spectators to a spectacular show. For a change we watched lot of sports and games and it was not cricket and Doordarshan became a hot TV channel again for a brief while. http://maddeningsilences.blogspot.com/2008/12/doordharshan-zindabad.html.

For a nation where Cricket is a religion and cricketers are Gods, we slowly learnt to discover Gods of smaller sports. Even while Cricinfo.com got bogged down with numerous hits due to our Test series win, we had people coming out with similar interest in our Boxing, Wrestling, Athletics, Shooting , Archery, Hockey, TT & Badminton champions....For the players who must have trained for years, its like a huge welcoming home coming as they suddenly realise the media interest, promises of cash prises and lots of fan support....CWG became a platform for them to claim what was long over due....Thankfully, the games, the players and not to forget the fantastic opening ceremony brought back our senses of feeling proud about being an Indian, as in the two months prior to the games, we were bent up on putting ourselves down with multiple interviews being beamed across various channels, bickering over responsibilities, bad mouthing our own efforts with SMS jokes, FB updates, Tweets and even sending out emails to anyone and everyone not to go to the games/stadiums.

A lot of times, I wonder, how do we become so negative in our approach, communications, thought process and attitudes. Agree that it is a criminal injustice not to punish the guilty, and I do hope the authorities responsible for mixing up their priorities in spending crores of rupees are brought to justice. But then, somewhere it is also a fact that criticising is very easy, while taking the responsibility is not. As a friend recently put it, we always look for compromise when we are wrong but we seek justice when others are wrong. Having said that, its not just the CWG that I think about. Over the past few days, I 've come across multiple incidents where it is becoming increasingly evident that we are more attracted to the negative than to look at the positive. Even if someone is right 99%, we hang on to the 1% that has gone wrong, which in turn works only in spreading negativity amongst everyone and creating a very unpleasant atmosphere. Long back I read a slogan that was posted on an Indian Railways counter in Jayanagar, Bangalore - If you are satisfied with our service, pls tell others... if not, tell us. Some how, that thought has stuck in my mind as I continue to feel that unless we work together in a positive way, there is no way forward.

Stay positive !!!

He's Just Not That Into You !

After a long long time..... recently watched this full length movie on a TV channel... and ofcourse remembered a few of my very close girl friends.. :) ... its a story about a group of girls and the movie ends with one of m...summarising the entire sequences through her thoughts... a self dialogue kinds.. and it goes like .......

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a boy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. but sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's just you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on. or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment... you never gave up hope !!!

This one's for all of you out there !!!

My Son :)

Suddenly Ajju seems to be all grown up !... he wants to be on Facebook, he has his own mail and friends list and more importantly he doesnt want to share his password with me :) Do I see the future? yes i guess so..

but the best thing is now he wants his own blog to write all his silly stories..from his school and class... let me see how i can help him out ...keep checking this space for updates...

Sanjay !

Its now a month and I still cant believe it. Though I know it can never bring back our dear friend Sanjay - felt like leaving a small homage as a respect to the person I knew as one of the closest friends krishnan had ever had.

The ever smiling Sanjay passed on so very suddenly.....but he will remain in our hearts forever. His energy, enthu, sense of humour, his caring ways for his family will continue to inspire me. To this day, every night before I sleep, I think of Vijaya, his grieving wife and I cry. I don't know what to talk to her, how to help her out in these trying times. I wonder if there is anyway that I can erase her pain, and I feel helpless.


Sanjay - I really hope you are resting in peace.....looking down from above and taking care of your family and friends... we are going to miss you forever.... always !!!

The incredible Andaman Islands !!!

It is almost 2 months since my trip to Andamans - Port Blair and Havelok Island. though I have been trying to write about it, somehow I could not bring myself to find time till now. Before I go into it, let me atleast tell you that this is one vacation I have been planning to take for the last 4 years atleast, that too alone.. not sure why.. but I always kept thinking that I should go to Andamans alone... obviously at that time, I never could have imagined that it might not be very easy to be a single woman traveller :) Anyways, now that I made the trip with the bag and baggage ( family), I think I owe it to myself to document few details that will remain to be wonderful memories for a long long time to come.  

Andamans - It was a breathtaking first sight from the air, as Ajju and me kept peeping through the windows, the bluish green coastline kept coming closer and closer and then suddenly you are on a tiny piece of an island run way. Port Blair to a large extent is like any other town/ city in India.. the only big difference being - Its so much more neat and clean, less crowded, hardly any traffic, well equipped and maintained and peace ful people. ( I did also hear that the crime rate is pretty low)... Hmm should I include it as an option in my retirement plans... I would'nt know.. Since Krishnan was busy with his work, Ajju and me pretty much had the day to ourselves, with visits to the famous Cellular Jail, Aquatic museums, and all around Port Blair and enjoying yummy food...of all these places, Cellular Jail will leave a lasting memory, I guess forever as one can never imagine how any person can be put into such small cell for years together.It must have been a very sad and gruelling life and we can only feel sorry for all of them.

Havelock Island - my only regret about this trip will be that we had only 4 days, and we managed only two Islands and that too Havelock was only for 2 days. Havelock is beautiful. The resort was very nice, beautiful with its own private beach, peaceful cottages, helpful service and ofcourse... yummy food :) Though it was raining very heavily, we made our way to Radhanagar Beach. For me it was a paradise on earth :) amazingly blue green water, lovely waves, white sand, mist covered mountains and the whole beach almost to ourselves... what a wonderful time we had and I kept wishing that time will stop right there... Snorkeling was another life changing experience for me... a complete non swimmer...for someone who is scared to get into the apartment's swimming pool, it was like a big leap to float around in the Bay of Bengal with an inflated tube around. But by God, it was worth over coming that fear.. I would have never imagined myself that sometime in my life, I will actually get to see a completely different world out there below the surface of the calm seas. so many different fishes, so many different shapes, colours, speeds, corals and for almost an hour I was transferred in to a different world and to this day I keep wondering if what I saw was real or a secret screening of National Geographic...

And coming back to Port Blair, I shopped.. :) for the very very small shell made ear rings and souvenirs and loved every bit of it... the last day rushed past very fast with a trip to Ross Island and the Anthropological Museum...and when Raja, our driver for 4 days told us that we saw only 40 % of Andamans, I guess I believe him. I wish we had more time...

But then, some of the important memories of trip would also be the speed boat ride on North Passage to & fro Havelock.. the amazing power of the sea when you are on the deck of the speed boat.... the beautiful splash of sea water on your face every time the boat breaks the wave ( there are only certain things that your digicam or handicam can capture...but what you can see with your naked eye, what you can feel and the senses of things around can never be matched), the up and downs of fishing boat ride to Ross Island, the heart wrenching sound and light show at Cellular Jail, the bengali, telegu and tamil speaking people who make you feel at home, the port of Port Blair and actually seeing a local fisherman pull out a huge Sting Ray fish using jus a small hook, the local tribals who are so elusive and the spirit of Andamans in standing up again in picking up the pieces and rebuilding bit by bit , even after the devastating Tsunami in 2004...I really wish I had more time... :)

And I do know I should not say this, but after that action packed beautiful 4 days, it was a pain to come back to the unwelcoming sights of Mumbai traffic, pollution and the monsoons that are so very different and dirty from what we experienced in the Fantastic Andamans... To think that it is also a part of India....and still remains so lovely.... Incredible India indeed !

so many out there....

How many nights remain wide awake in sleep...?
How many dreams dissolve in eyes that weep…?
How many lives wait to share the feelings of love…?
How many eyes search for lost ties even now…?
How many people lead a life that’s a lie…?
How many broken hearts cry out and sigh...?
How many memories kindle a dead romance…?
How many of them do get another chance...?

This is written for a friend...J Gal....you are not alone.. there are hazaar people out there who would relate to you.. and more importantly...you are what you are because of you and you alone...your destiny need not tie you up to people who chose to walk away.. so keep going...

I feel; would you care?
I think; will you be there to share?
I reach; would you come back to where you left me long ago?
I walk; will you be around to say “Let’s go"?
I sit; would you count the stars for me?
I speak; will you break the silence with me?
I smile; would you become a sparkle of joy?
I cry; will you continue your life and enjoy?

Seeking you !

When I sit alone, most often,
I try to reach out and seek you...
Gradually you become a blurred collage
Of images & memories which are very few...

Nothing !

I wanted to write about quite a few things in the past few months..but somehow nothing got translated on to this webpage... nothing was that important.. but I thought of writing about the Mumbai Marathon...which I could never attend... ( we could not wake in time for that..) :)... and then about the horrible traffic....... the mutliple trips to the beaches.. ( I love the waves but the beaches in and around Mumbai are not worth it actually..).... discovering whole new things for Ajay to do... like Judo tournaments on weekend...dance classes... guitar lessons...skating practises.. Cyclothons.... and parents running like mad next to cycling kids.... and in between all this, the panic of preparing for the 5th standard semester end exams.... and then again chasing the husband to complete long pending tasks......and to top all that...all the multiple things at office....hmmm

inspite of all that.. actually theres nothing to write about....infact i feel lost and empty and that there is nothing on my mind..... life goes on......nothing happens any more... no matter what happens... :) thats one confusing state of mind...

There is no love !

In one insane moment of love,
She seem to have let go of you
She doesn’t belong to you any more
And the truth rapped her that never did you

She dwells in the deep bowels of earth
Where love and life are not so near
She doesn’t try to reach out any more
But when you miss her, will you atleast shed a tear

Phases of life seems to have zoomed by
Even as she stood there and tried to stop
Memories seeped and sank into the sands
From which more loveless lives seem to crop

The stars sprinkle their light across the skies
Waiting for your measured steps like the tide
While the moon shines down on her grave from above
She tries to push back the waves to find her place to hide

She searched her world for love in the midst
Of the broken bits of life; in sleep
Faces faded away even from the dreams,
There is no love; no more love that’s deep!