Saturday, December 27, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
There was some interview being aired by CNN-IBN today and as Shahrukh spoke, I felt a flash of the dude - Abhimanyu Rai( the young hero of Fauji, on whom most of the gals went GaGa at that time) appear on the screen and it brought back memories :) .. Trust me we used to speak only about Shahrukh in the school on thursdays :) what lovely days of fun we had waiting for the wednesday - 9 pm .. dutifully looking forward for the one & only Doordarshan... :) just to check out Fauji .....Hmmmm.. and now it takes me back to all the other serials which were part & parcel of our peaceful lives ... if any one of u can recollect, it would be great to compile a list :) atleast for the sake of our kids :)
Guess this is one of my happy posts.. I see a lot of nice smileys :) Doordarshan Zindabad !!!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Politically Correct !
Just heard this phrase all over again when Sheila Dikshit managed to win the recent Delhi elections . Apparently young people did believe that she was always politically correct. And it set my mind bells ringing. As you might already know, my command over English may not be that sound to understand the extreme nuances of what exactly this phrase meant and ofcourse, in the current mood, I wasnt willing to look thru wikipedia, so had no choice but to post it here hoping that some kind hearted soul might take few minutes to enlighten me. As far as I know, don't we all come across people who always try to be politically correct ( I guess I am not exactly referring to the political part of it here)... U know something like always political.. and( or should I use OR) always correct. Hmmm
I should admit that I feel lucky...not just because, I have friends, but the last few months have suddenly proved that I have friends who seek me back, who relate to me, who stick by me, who are genuinely with me......after even years... from different shores... far across the distance & spaces ( oops that sounds like Titanic title song)...I have had people come back into my life, filling it with surprises, sweet memories and a lot of soul searching...I always had them in my mind... reaching out... searching for them through different mazes of networking sites, remembering the good old memories, wondering at times if there is anything that went wrong. Now I am back in touch with so many of my long lost friends that it feels really great. While on the subject of friends, it so happens that there were a couple of times I ended up thinking if some of them were as good a friend that I thought them to be...the trust factor comes into focus and then you feel the energy seeping out of you as these were people whom you considered part of your life...May be it just goes on to prove something that I always believed in - Choose your friends with utmost care… and never let them down… but if they let you down… then never count them as your friends…!
Fight against terrorism
Offlate, this has become something that kept occupying my thoughts regularly. The terrorism that I refer to was not just the Mumbai terror attacks, it was against the people like me who never felt engaged with the society before, it was against our leaders who chose to dramatise our beliefs for their political benefits, it was against the society that was too busy to even think of neighbours, it was against the whole system that was left aloof. I cant help but mention a couple of incidents which are actually hurting me even now. First - the media that went berserk airing 62 hour terror telecasts, sudddenly has a new mantra - Battle for the states.. so what happens to all their commitment about what ever was being spoken about a week ago.. obviously, TRPs are more importants than terror trails... may be we should wait for the next terror attacks...Second - there was this guy whom we all met at a peace gathering, who was all guns blazing and who was so very passionate about forming a similar interest group etc etc. After we( about 200 of us who had felt something snap inside made it a point to meet at the Mahatma Gandhi Statue to light few candles) all dutifully collected all our contacts to make sure that we stick together and be in touch with each other.. Bingo, the guy seems to have suddenly disappeared with the entire list .. wonder whats keeping him back.. or obviously, the entire contacts might be safely tucked into some database for future reference.. may be we should wait for the next terror attacks... Third - we received numerous mails - with illustrations of Mumbai snaps and petitions online.. and memos to PM.. and peace rallies... hmmm, but then gradually they disappeared into the vacuum.. obviously, how long can poor souls like us who gets chewn up on all fronts show interest for the nation, for some city which gets attacked, for some people who get killed... how can we continue to care for others....I guess we are happy as long as it doesnt hit us... hmmm, may be we should wait for the next terror attacks... !
Hmm, one of my friends got married on Monday and I suddenly notice a few of my married friends( guys) empathising with this guy... whats happening guys, is it really that bad? or is it the general opinion guys have towards the marriage? Or is it just their way of having fun :)But on a serious note, do guys look at it as something which is sinister falling upon them? while we as women always felt that we were at a loosing end in a marriage ( loosing a lot of things and I dont want to get into the details here), why is there a sudden change of emotions that the new age guys seem to be experiencing? Marriage is not such a bad thing after all.. you know, when women can go through all that we do , put up with everything & everyone and still believe in it, I am sure u guys can give it a try too.... :)
There we go, I did tell u that it will leave u confused. and obviously it did become too long too.. so anyways as the clock ticks past mid night, its time to bring a closure to this post... So long..!!!
Friday, December 5, 2008
Those engulf her during the nights
As she opens her eyes to every dawn
She smiles, as they disappear with the daylights
She thinks about the blossomed love
The one that bloomed like wild flower
As she sees it gradually wither away
She smiles, as it’s just like her elusive lover
She thinks about the caring words
And the words that came through soothing silence
As she tries to solve their riddles
She smiles, as the confusions grow dense
She thinks about all the memories
Carefully gathered through moments of hope
As she separates the fantasies and wishes
She smiles, as they are enough for her to cope
She thinks about all her smiles
While her heart kept taking sudden dips
As she lets go of the forever dreams
She smiles, even as it fades away from her lips!!!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Whats happening with our country???....... It hurts !!!!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Its just a line from the Ayn Rand authored book - "Atlas Shrugged" , while referring to the characters -Dagny Taggort & Francisco d'Anconia...
I guess I can relate to that....connect it to quite a few of my earlier blog posts & it just goes on to strengthen the belief in something that I always felt........"Just let it go… It shall come back if its any true.. If it doesn’t.. then it never was …."
Thursday, November 13, 2008
But how long do you keep reaching out?... how long will you keep trying to give it a shot? .. how long will you keep putting up with things? will they ever know that we are not expecting anything as they assume? and we are surely not being unreasonable in comparing? will they know only after they loose us? or will they ever loose us... ? or are we going to be sticking around..... u know .... like always being there for them? :)
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
How does she tell him that she is missing him?
When all she can feel are walls around
How does she say that he is her everything?
When she lost her way with her feet aground
How does she know if it’s reaching him?
All the tears that were shed over lonely nights
Would he even know about the inflicting torture?
As she tries to challenge her lonely fights
How will he ever know about her love?
When all he cared about was his feelings that were muted
How will she prove that she is aching for him?
When all her hopes, on him were rooted
How will he ever know, that time is flying by?
And that his silence is slicing through her heart
How will he even know about her eternal wait?
Though it seems to be taking her apart
How does she scream out her pain?
That she lost out her life and tried
How does he come to know about all the times?
When she just stood there and cried
How would he ever know, what he is to her?
How would he ever know that she is missing him???
Saturday, November 8, 2008
"IT NEVER STARTED !!!"
3 little words.. yet I guess they left a lasting impact to be embedded into the memory...
Saturday, November 1, 2008
My heart likes you, so much
That my eyes fight back the sleep
Your thoughts spread calm inside,
As your face resides in that heart that’s deep
Oh dear! I seem to be loosing myself
And I don’t even seem to know your identity!
As you gave me that glance
And your face bloomed with a beautiful smile
It’s like a lightening bolt that hit me
Even as I struggled to come out of that
I wonder who pasted your beautiful face
Right across my heart
It’s like a storm that’s passing through my life
Just feel my heart beat to know what I am going through
My heart seems to be longing for you……
I was never drenched by the pouring rains
I never melted with the blazing sun
I had become a rock weathering through the life
But like a tiny wild flower that blooms
On the rocky patch of mighty mountains
This stupid love seems to have come alive
I wonder what the destiny holds in store
As I didn’t know till now, that hearts are made only to love…!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
This is one of my fav songs in Telegu...( from the movie - Gulabi)....so very sweet.. and so very nice..... I had actually tried to translate this into English as one of my poems.. am not sure how far I could succeed..... but do listen & check out the song... :-)
What would you be doing at this time?
Every moment I keep thinking about the same……….
I have left my heart somewhere
And now it appears to have become your shadow.
It refuses to come back to me
But how could this be true?
Neither were you here nor was I there,
How did you work wonders on me…..…?
Your thoughts seem to keep me awake
Into the wee hours of the lonely nights
They drive me into doing everything
Even during the busy times of broad daylights
How do I spend my life?
What should I do to end this grief………..?
Where ever I turn & whatever I do
I always have your presence felt
My eyes don’t seem to be taking in
Anything else other than you
You seem to have cast your charm on me
Ho do I come out of this magic spell…………?
There must be some intoxication
In every letter that forms your name
There must be some numbing passion
In your sweet caring voice
I seem to get lost in your dreams
And every moment I spend in your thoughts
Would you be even thinking about me?
Will you be able to look straight in my eyes?
Judge my feelings and utter few words
Did you ever think about the emotional ties?
Or are you just having a good laugh?
As you see that I am losing my mind.
What would you be doing at this time? Every moment I keep thinking about the same………..
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
It doesn’t make any sense any more… Its like…“Don’t let anyone become a priority in life for whom you are just an option….Open your eyes and see the things as they really are…”
No… it doesn’t make me feel sad or angry or depressed… may be u can say... Over a period of time… I have learnt to look at things more practically…may be more maturely…that if any one is behaving differently… if they are becoming strangers by the day... may be they have their own reasons for being that way… so actually its doesn’t make any sense for us to be breaking our heads over anything... sometimes, I feel, we should stop having any kind of expectations and learn to lead our own lives as long as it goes…. its like we should not depend on any one else ... not even for our happiness …..Or for the inner peace...or the contentment… that at times we keep loosing...
Life changes each day and so do our priorities, but we as humans love to remain in our comfort zone and never accept that there is nothing constant but change. For some of us priorities change and the entire philosophy of living up to some one’s expectation changes. However the story may not be true on the other side…the expectations still lingers… and the longing continues...
At the end of the day the one who has moved on never appreciates or values your expectations as he or she would have done in the past. The net result is the feeling of rejection/dejection and frustration. Never make the mistake of trying to make that person realize how it feels… at the end of the exercise it is trying to expect a horse to fly. Finally what we enter into is (what I term) a “Toxic – Relationship” where bitterness seems to be the life and breath of the association.
You end up being an option like 100s of others where at once you just seemed to be the only solution.
The sooner we accept that any relationship changes with each passing day, the easier it becomes to cope up with the changing face of every relationship in life. Because life is not about how many breaths you take but how many moments that took your breath away!
Considering that every relationship comes with an expiry date… There’s nothing like you loose touch with people… its just that they played their role in your life and silently left the stage ….
Saturday, October 4, 2008
As the years rolled by, and days kept fading
The longing grew as emptiness filled my time
Then I guess God did plan my miracle
And knew when the bells should chime
Deep into the nights when the world sleeps around
My eyes refuse to close as they earlier used to
I stare at the night sky and send out a prayer
And wonder if my miracle is seeing the same stars too
Words of silence to show all the care
Mutual emotions that dwell from deep within
Connecting the souls, yearning to be
Something quite strange yet fascinating starts to begin
When my life is crazy, it’s a second of sanity
When I feel stressed out, it’s my moment of ease
While I fight my battles, it’s becoming a strength I posses
When I am just myself, it seems to be like a gentle breeze
It lets me to be myself, shedding the masks
Slowly wiping away the fears without a trace
My lips curve more, to bring out what I feel with in
Yes, it managed to put back that smile on my face!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
This is for everyone who can relate to the song...The lyrics for your easy reference ...
"Chupke se kahin, dheeme paaun se
jaane kis tarah, kis ghadi
aage badh gaye, humse raahon mein
par tum toh abhi thi yahin
kuch bhi na suna, kab ka tha gila
kaise keh diya alvida
Jinke darmiya gujri thi abhi
kal tak yeh meri zindagi
dono baahon ko, thandi chaanv ko
hum bhi kar chale alvida
Alvida, alvida, meri raahein alvida
meri saansein kehati hai, alvida
alvida, alvida, ab kehna aur kya
jab tune keh diya, alvida
Sunle bekhabar, yuun aankhein pher kar aaj tu chali jaa
dhundegi nazar humko hi magar har jagah
aisi raaton mein leke karvate, yaad hamein karna
aur phir haar kar kehna kyun magar, keh diya alvida alvida
koi puchhe toh zara, kya socha aur kaha alvida
alvida, alvida, ab kehna aur kya
jab tune keh diya, alvida
Hum the dil jale, phir bhi dil kahe
kaash mere sang aaj hote tum agar, hoti har dagar gulsitaa
tumse hai khafa, hum naaraaz hai, dil hai pareshaan
socha na suna tune kyun bhala keh diya alvida alvida
koi puchhe toh zara, kya socha aur kaha alvida
alvida, alvida, ab kehna aur kyajab tune keh diya, alvida
kyun socha aur kahan alvida
dono baahon ko, thandi chaanv ko
hum bhi kar chale alvida"
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Bunch of kindergarten children from SOS Children's village...visited our office as part of our SMILE initiative...such cute children... and how cruel it must be to be parent less in this big bad world.. :-(... but the fun they had and their little smiles... brought tears to my eyes...they just went on to prove how little it takes to be happy... chocolates, balloons..and lot of cheers was all that they needed.. and it left me wondering where we have left behind all those innocent unpolitical lives.... and yes, it also made me realise something else...I never expected most of my colleagues to turn up at the cafeteria... but then.. I guess the children did the magic... the place was packed and the crowd kept cheering even a small rhyme, songs and dance ... and the shy smiles of the children... :-) Thanks guys... Tavant rocks..
The other incident was yesterday... Yes... Indian Independence Day...I had gone to attend the independence day celebrations at the government school where I go on weekends to teach....during the last one year, i have done nothing big for them... just went on Saturdays..to teach English lessons from whatever little I know... and helped them to conduct painting competition as part of independence day activities.... and they wanted me on the stage to give away the prizes to the winners.... It was my first such experience.. and I was not sure if I even deserved being on that stage... but to see the smiles of children who came to receive and thank me made it a worthwhile experience....and then came cultural programs which blew my mind away..... believe me these are under privileged children... most of the smaller children come to school only for the free food they get in the afternoons.... and here they were dancing and singing and giving speeches...... and they were just amazing with whatever little they know... and imagine we spend thousands of rupees training different things... hiring costumes... booking auditoriums ... drinks.. dinner.. dance.. etc etc..phew...
Of late.. it makes me think..... I guess I just want to do more to these small children...give more time, energy, efforts and money... all the other stupid things that we keep doing doesn't make any sense at times... .. may be its time to let go.. and do whatever would bring peace to my mind... time to stop trying to please everyone around.. with plastic smiles... and be among genuine smiles....
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Sometime I feel its so much like our life... life that’s full of broken pieces that mix and match and form different patterns… pieces that have been brought together from different places…different scenarios…different people…different lives…different pieces - some that have been there for ages….some that suddenly draw your attention… some that sweep you off your feet…some that tell you to slow down… some that wait to cut through to your soul…some that make you wait forever to show their magic…some that refuse to budge from their places…some that show you fake colours and characters … some that make you cry… and all that gets shaken up once in a while …
Hmmm….let me end it here for now.. its time to shake myself to entertain others around…
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Anyways...right now, the numerous thoughts that run through my mind are like different wires flowing out of my life...may be I am just entangled somewhere amidst them...
Friday, June 13, 2008
I ve known him since the time I was in shcool ( I never said he knows me ) :-) ... and I remember all the gals in my class going weak in the knees for the chocolate hero of the QSQT days... It was good to come across his blog recently...Man.. this guy knows to write..or even if some of us keep thinking that he s not doing it himself.. may be this guy knows how to get it written :-) quite insightful I should say...
I heard someone call him Airconditioned Captain...should I say I second it ... third it.. fourth it etc etc... He is one cool guy...There s something about him that makes u think...not think abt him alone... but think abt ourselves too... like " what I'd have done if I am in his place" or " what he would have done if he 's in my place"...
The other day, I was telling my husband while we watched a presentation ceremony at the end of a match..." Imagine the grit, determination, focus, direction, command, grooming, looks, language , communication skills, maturity and cool headedness to reach the levels he has acheived from the bylanes of a small town like Ranchi"....May be again my thoughts are clouded..as another friend pointed out to me... " No body is perfect untill u fall in love with them" ... but then, don't we do that all the time...with everyone...so whats the big deal...
Way to go buddy... Yo Dhoni!!!!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
As she caresses and passes by your face
She can woo you with her subtle touches
As the birds chirp from trees that stand in grace
You can feel her in the waves that rise
As each wave, with more power comes your way
Isn’t she telling you to keep going? As some day,
The clouding foam will surely wither away
You can feel her in the pouring rain
Or is it just that she is in tears?
As we scatter around to protect ourselves
May be she is protesting and living her own fears…
You can feel her in the Earth that quakes
At times, may be it’s her way to show her power
We may dig deeper to raise the sky high homes
But she is the one who provides us with land to hover
You can feel her in the greenery that we destroy
Oh! Obviously she would be in pain
But, aren’t we looking only at our development around?
Why care for now, when we stand to gain?
You can feel her in the increasing list of endangered species
As we spread our claws and occupy their space
May be she is just waiting for her turn
But when she fights back, we may not win this race…
You can feel her in the disappearing islands
You can feel her in the ice that’s melting down
You can feel her in the heat waves and drowning floods
She may soon disappear and we may not be around even to mourn…
written on the occassion of World Environment Day - 5th June 08. We had varios initiatives at work, one of which was - Dedicate an article on your personal blog.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Will I be able to keep everything aside?
I want to reach out to the skies
Or just go where the wilderness lies
Walk into those far away cold mountains
Would they be able to heat up my frozen heart?
Shedding the alien feelings and dependencies
That years have brought in, all the subtle changes
Can I let go of what goes on in my mind?
Setting myself free of all things that bind…
As I stand alone looking back in time
Will I be able to let go of the memories?
As I try to look ahead at life…
Will I be able to let go of my aspirations?
Harmonizing various roles that I play
How can I let go of the emotions?
As the hopes wither and time flies by
Should I even let go of my dreams?
When all I am left with is I, me and myself
How can I let go of what I am???
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
(Just trying to borrow a sentence from my friend.. ) :-)
Annual exams... trying times...and I wonder what all must be going through that little mind during that little time... He actually tells me that he gets nervous for the first 10 minutes and then he tells his mind to cool down and relax ... ( his exact words) ....and I don't have a heart to tell him that this is just the beginning in this big bad world :-)
All the best Ajju !!!
Friday, February 29, 2008
He comes to her in broad daylight
Even while she remains wide awake
He lives in her dreams at night
Thousands of lives that she lives with him
In heaven, with all its charms
Through ups and downs, joy & sorrow
He becomes her smile as she cuddles in his arms
Through the vacuum filled loneliness
He is her collage of memories, a modern art
When she misses him more than she can express
He becomes a tear, sliding down to her heart
As her heart goes through the eternal search
Is he very far or just very near?
She wonders what’s holding him back
Can’t he at least make that clear?
She just wonders, how many years more
As she waits for that one last meet
It’s not so easy, as it may appear
But to be with him, her prayers, she repeats
Through unsent mails and unspoken words
As the urge raises to end the game
There’s just this one hope, someday soon,
On her phone screen, would blink, his name…
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Just another line I read from a book titled "Atlas Shrugged" by Ian Rand...
Doesn't love come in different forms.. and at different times.... yet.. isn't it very surprising that we actually have only one particular day to celebrate Love... Anyway...I carefully choose this time to post this message... just past mid night ..as one more Valentine's Day quietly passes by...
Love ...is it something that we already have... or is it something that we always want ? or is it something that we cannot accept? or is it something that cannot be expressed? or is it something that cannot be held? or is it something that makes us feel miserable..... when you miss someone more than you can express???
Here's another forward message: When you love someone, say it right then..right there...or the moment just passes by...!!!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Someone out there !!!
She tried to push him into her past
But everything about him haunts her still
She wished to God that she would forget him
But now she realized, she never will
Her heart seems to have frozen in time
Cobwebs of memories she still does keep
Drying tears do escape at times
Into her dreams, he always creeps
Ripples have become massive waves
And thundering skies all but clear
As she tries to hold that untouched love
Yearnings come, but he is nowhere
This pain appears to live inside her
Even while she tries to stop this nightmare
She wonders, if he still thinks of her
For her, did he ever really care?
He lives in her every tear that falls
Triggers her every poem & prose
She was always like an open book
Probably he chose to shut her close!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
I wonder why do we even write them.. ? be it official mails, personal mails, private mails, long pending mails, formality sake mails...we write them with utmost care... moving things here and there and making changes.... thanks to Microsoft , spell checks, Thesaurus and copy,paste commands... that we actually need not worry about the numerous crumpled sheets that used to get thrown into the dust bins in the ancient times...
We write them with anxiety, worry, anger, frustrations, hatred, hope, happiness, longing to get things sorted and all other mixed feelings at times... but then when it comes to hitting the send button..... our fingers seem to freeze..or the moment just passes by....:-(
When all we want is to express what we feel, why do we even hesitate and think so much about other person's reaction?
How stupid, right?...!!!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Btw.. heard this song in the morning today... its in Kannada..from the movie " Mungaru Male" ( the only kannada movie that I ever dared to see.... but I just loved it )
Ivanu geliyanalla... gelathi naanu modhale alla.... ( still trying to figure out what it actually means)
Let me know if you got it right....
Monday, January 7, 2008
I want to close this with just one sentence...
Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday....
( U can say I am still waiting ...)