Maddening Silence !!!

Its engulfing...completely taking me back through years...and it keeps hitting me in phases......how many incidents, how many people, how many faces, how many words, how many stupid feelings, how many memories,...... and some ppl do disappear from our lives.... as suddenly as they come into our lives... and all we get left with are memories....and Maddening Silence in the hearts !!!!

Thinking of you..!!!

This is one of my fav songs in Telegu...( from the movie - Gulabi)....so very sweet.. and so very nice..... I had actually tried to translate this into English as one of my poems.. am not sure how far I could succeed..... but do listen & check out the song... :-)

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=89UeL8F-Dgk

What would you be doing at this time?
Every moment I keep thinking about the same……….

I have left my heart somewhere
And now it appears to have become your shadow.
It refuses to come back to me
But how could this be true?
Neither were you here nor was I there,
How did you work wonders on me…..…?

Your thoughts seem to keep me awake
Into the wee hours of the lonely nights
They drive me into doing everything
Even during the busy times of broad daylights
How do I spend my life?
What should I do to end this grief………..?

Where ever I turn & whatever I do
I always have your presence felt
My eyes don’t seem to be taking in
Anything else other than you
You seem to have cast your charm on me
Ho do I come out of this magic spell…………?

There must be some intoxication
In every letter that forms your name
There must be some numbing passion
In your sweet caring voice
I seem to get lost in your dreams
And every moment I spend in your thoughts

Would you be even thinking about me?
Will you be able to look straight in my eyes?
Judge my feelings and utter few words
Did you ever think about the emotional ties?
Or are you just having a good laugh?
As you see that I am losing my mind.

What would you be doing at this time? Every moment I keep thinking about the same………..

Unconventional !!!!

The messages will keep coming…the signals will keep warning…all possible forces will keep indicating to hold back…but when its in your destiny…is there any way to stop what is bound to happen…As you look down upon your actions….what hits you the most?... what you want to do… or what you end up doing to yourself?…when you feel suddenly vulnerable…what happens to oneself?… does the façade of bravery & strength that was built over the years start to crack under the pressure?… or does it get stronger to support you and shield you more?… as you put forward a step towards the brighter horizons…does your illuminations actually blind the people around you?....if you are a woman with volatile combinations … extreme emotions….a typical unconventional woman…does it get any more difficult to stand up for your own beliefs , feelings and inclinations?

Few Thoughts!!!

It was a while ago... but getting to post now...adding up an atricle on to my blog :)
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It doesn’t make any sense any more… Its like…“Don’t let anyone become a priority in life for whom you are just an option….Open your eyes and see the things as they really are…”

No… it doesn’t make me feel sad or angry or depressed… may be u can say... Over a period of time… I have learnt to look at things more practically…may be more maturely…that if any one is behaving differently… if they are becoming strangers by the day... may be they have their own reasons for being that way… so actually its doesn’t make any sense for us to be breaking our heads over anything... sometimes, I feel, we should stop having any kind of expectations and learn to lead our own lives as long as it goes…. its like we should not depend on any one else ... not even for our happiness …..Or for the inner peace...or the contentment… that at times we keep loosing...

Life changes each day and so do our priorities, but we as humans love to remain in our comfort zone and never accept that there is nothing constant but change. For some of us priorities change and the entire philosophy of living up to some one’s expectation changes. However the story may not be true on the other side…the expectations still lingers… and the longing continues...

At the end of the day the one who has moved on never appreciates or values your expectations as he or she would have done in the past. The net result is the feeling of rejection/dejection and frustration. Never make the mistake of trying to make that person realize how it feels… at the end of the exercise it is trying to expect a horse to fly. Finally what we enter into is (what I term) a “Toxic – Relationship” where bitterness seems to be the life and breath of the association.

You end up being an option like 100s of others where at once you just seemed to be the only solution.

The sooner we accept that any relationship changes with each passing day, the easier it becomes to cope up with the changing face of every relationship in life. Because life is not about how many breaths you take but how many moments that took your breath away!

Considering that every relationship comes with an expiry date… There’s nothing like you loose touch with people… its just that they played their role in your life and silently left the stage ….

My Miracle !!!

As the years rolled by, and days kept fading
The longing grew as emptiness filled my time
Then I guess God did plan my miracle
And knew when the bells should chime

Deep into the nights when the world sleeps around
My eyes refuse to close as they earlier used to
I stare at the night sky and send out a prayer
And wonder if my miracle is seeing the same stars too

Words of silence to show all the care
Mutual emotions that dwell from deep within
Connecting the souls, yearning to be
Something quite strange yet fascinating starts to begin

When my life is crazy, it’s a second of sanity
When I feel stressed out, it’s my moment of ease
While I fight my battles, it’s becoming a strength I posses
When I am just myself, it seems to be like a gentle breeze

It lets me to be myself, shedding the masks
Slowly wiping away the fears without a trace
My lips curve more, to bring out what I feel with in
Yes, it managed to put back that smile on my face!

Alvida!!!

Love this song from Life in a Metro...It makes so much of sense ...When you listen to it play in the middle of the night when everything around you is silent....When you sit alone and think of things that affected your life...When you feel helpless about the aspects that you have no control on... When you have mixed feelings about whats happening....When you are not sure about what you want and what you have.....When you feel all alone in everything you feel and do...When you know for sure that its time to let it go....Just letting go.. :-) ...

This is for everyone who can relate to the song...The lyrics for your easy reference ...

"Chupke se kahin, dheeme paaun se
jaane kis tarah, kis ghadi
aage badh gaye, humse raahon mein
par tum toh abhi thi yahin
kuch bhi na suna, kab ka tha gila
kaise keh diya alvida

Jinke darmiya gujri thi abhi
kal tak yeh meri zindagi
dono baahon ko, thandi chaanv ko
hum bhi kar chale alvida

Alvida, alvida, meri raahein alvida
meri saansein kehati hai, alvida
alvida, alvida, ab kehna aur kya
jab tune keh diya, alvida

Sunle bekhabar, yuun aankhein pher kar aaj tu chali jaa
dhundegi nazar humko hi magar har jagah
aisi raaton mein leke karvate, yaad hamein karna
aur phir haar kar kehna kyun magar, keh diya alvida alvida
koi puchhe toh zara, kya socha aur kaha alvida
alvida, alvida, ab kehna aur kya
jab tune keh diya, alvida

Hum the dil jale, phir bhi dil kahe
kaash mere sang aaj hote tum agar, hoti har dagar gulsitaa
tumse hai khafa, hum naaraaz hai, dil hai pareshaan
socha na suna tune kyun bhala keh diya alvida alvida
koi puchhe toh zara, kya socha aur kaha alvida
alvida, alvida, ab kehna aur kyajab tune keh diya, alvida
kyun socha aur kahan alvida

dono baahon ko, thandi chaanv ko
hum bhi kar chale alvida"