Where do I find you in my life???

Where do I find you in my life?

Should I search for you in my dreams...

Or in all the words that got spoken...

Or in all the tears that got shed...

Or will you be in the silence of my heart...

Or in my eyes that turn red all the time...

Should I look for you in my empty mind...

Or in every breathe I take that calls your name...

Or in the lines of my palm which are wired...

Or will you be hidden in my soul deep inside...

Or in my senses that feel your presence everywhere...

Should I trace you to the corners of your world....

Or in my bits and pieces of memories that are left...

Or in all the silent prayers that I send up...

Or will you be behind the closed doors of my destiny...

Or in my love that is hurting me from within...

Where do I find you? Or will I ever find you ???

Bits & Pieces of Love!

There are times when she looks at you,
From across the distance or sitting next to you,
Remembering all your stupid jokes...
Don't make her laugh again...

There are times when she hears you around,
Even while she chides her jealous heart,
Remembering all the sweet things you did...
Don't make her smile again...

There are times when she longs for you,
Reaches out for that very elusive love,
Remembering how close you were...
Don't make her cry again...

There are times when she lets go of you,
When she knows that its never going to be the same again,
Remembering all your forever promises...
Don't make her fall in love with you again...

Love again!

Why do I always write about Love...
What is there in it, that keeps pulling me back to this word...
How do you handle and hold on to love...
When all you have is bundled into few words...
How do you hide your smiles and tears...
When love is something that comes from the heart...
What can you do with all the memories...
When they want you to run back in time and years...
How can you reach out to touch the heart...
Which once made your face light up thousand times...
Where can you search for all those hugs... 
Hugs that made you long for those moments...
How do you tell him that you still love him...
When you are not sure if he's still holding on to your heart...

Random words !

The nights we spent talking late

The smiles you brought on to my lips 

The dreams you got me to see

The hugs you sent in the air

The tears that flowed down my eyes 

The years that flew only with your thoughts 

The hopes that you left behind in my heart 

The memories that bring you back into my life

The love that won't let you go....

Do you ???

At times, when I reach out to you
do you see my outstretched hand?
Those moments when my eyes search for you
does your heart feel my presense around?

Sometimes, when the memories make me smile
do you recollect the weird things we did?
And, while I lie awake with your thoughts
do you see me in your dreams?

Often, when I long for your arms around me
do you know how hurt I feel inside?
And, while my heart has now gone silent
do you still think of all that we spoke late into the nights? 

Few times, when my eyes shed some tears
do you remember the closeness we shared ?
And, even while we fight it out in this world
do you believe we belong to another life?

Love that cannot be killed !

It cannot be stopped
It cannot be hidden
It let's the memories haunt you forever
It fails you every time you reach out
It forgives even when taken for granted
It cannot be held back
It keeps you hoping for miracles
It will not allow you to express
It tortures when you suppress
It makes you blind to all the faults
It makes you weep in the night
It lives in all your hopes
It makes you smile even when crying
It makes you feel stupid
It lets you be humiliated
It puts you down as vulnerable
It has you bound by the chains
It lets you fly high in the skies
It makes you long for just a glance
It takes you places just for a moment of togetherness
It tickles your very senses to the bone
It sizzles in the silence of your thoughts
It doesn't let you sleep
It flows out in your sleepless dreams
Love that cannot be killed
Even when you try and want to .......

Tadap Tadap...

As you come across friends who open up and pour out their pain, and when you try to capture the feelings,  sometimes you just have to go with the flow. ... take care girl... !

It was a little wish to smile
But, now the lips don’t curve any more
It was a small effort to fly
But, wings got broken even before taking to skies
It was a tiny hope to hold it in the palm
But it seems to have slipped through the fingers into the sand
It was an effort to gather all the beautiful memories
But, all they left behind are painful reminders
It was a short time to share and talk
But now, the inner tongue has been sliced and muted
It was a slender effort to love
But, the heart came crashing down with the disqualifications
It was a tiny little prayer to live again
But then, life seems to have gone out of this life...

Dissolving Fire...

All it takes is a little drop of emotion

           Waves of tears  flow down my eyes

The love inside is now an unsettling fire

          While it burns me out in this fading light

In the depths of the my heart's core

          More regrets seem to float up fiercely

Surrounded by people, sucked into the chaos

          Yet deep inside silence of death prevails

As you draw out the life from my soul

         I am left holding on to lifeless numb feelings

Erase all the moments of togetherness

          Take away my memories and love

But, as I seem to dissolve inside out

          Will you look back once and prove me wrong?

            

Will the dreams come back ???

At times, when she sits alone
Even in the engulfing chaos around
She strains to hear the foot falls…
Will the silence come back?

When she tries to refresh her thoughts

Set in a life linked across times

Warming the heart and raking the past...

Will the memories come back?

While she looks back at a life that’s gone

Trying to trace the path back into love

Like the showers of rain from above...

Will the smiles come back?

As the Sun goes down on another day       

Bridging the worlds with a ray of hope

She looks up to grab the stars again...

Will the dreams come back?

Can you let go ???

 A couple of years ago... I had posted this poem titled  "Letting Go ! ..."
A friend of mine recently helped me with a different version of that...So here we go with " Can you let go? " :)
Is there some strange feeling inside?
Will you be able to keep everything aside?
Do you want to reach out to the skies,
Or just go where the wilderness lies ?
If you walk into those far away cold mountains
would they be able to heat up your frozen heart?
Shedding the alien feelings and dependencies
that years have brought in, all the subtle changes
Can you let go of what goes on in your mind?
Setting you free of all things that bind…
As you stand alone looking back in time
Will you be able to let go of the memories?
As you try to look ahead at life…
Will you be able to let go of your aspirations?
Harmonizing various roles that you play
How can you let go of the emotions?
As the hopes wither and time flies by
Should you even let go of your dreams?
When all you are left with is you, you and you
How can you let go of what you are???

There is no love !

In one insane moment of love,
She seem to have let go of you
She doesn’t belong to you any more
And the truth rapped her that never did you

She dwells in the deep bowels of earth
Where love and life are not so near
She doesn’t try to reach out any more
But when you miss her, will you atleast shed a tear

Phases of life seems to have zoomed by
Even as she stood there and tried to stop
Memories seeped and sank into the sands
From which more loveless lives seem to crop

The stars sprinkle their light across the skies
Waiting for your measured steps like the tide
While the moon shines down on her grave from above
She tries to push back the waves to find her place to hide

She searched her world for love in the midst
Of the broken bits of life; in sleep
Faces faded away even from the dreams,
There is no love; no more love that’s deep!

She Smiles….!!!

She thinks about her dreams
Those engulf her during the nights
As she opens her eyes to every dawn
She smiles, as they disappear with the daylights

She thinks about the blossomed love
The one that bloomed like wild flower
As she sees it gradually wither away
She smiles, as it’s just like her elusive lover

She thinks about the caring words
And the words that came through soothing silence
As she tries to solve their riddles
She smiles, as the confusions grow dense

She thinks about all the memories
Carefully gathered through moments of hope
As she separates the fantasies and wishes
She smiles, as they are enough for her to cope

She thinks about all her smiles
While her heart kept taking sudden dips
As she lets go of the forever dreams
She smiles, even as it fades away from her lips!!!